Love Across Tax Brackets: Everybody needs a little loving

By Vangile Ganthso (@Vangi22)

These social, economic and cultural lines are drawn in the wind and adhered to silently, with very few lovers venturing beyond them, in fear of some kind of unnecessary complication.

In a recent taxi ride from Randburg to Braamfontein, I found myself surprisingly charmed by a taxi driver. He quoted poetry (Mzwakhe Mbuli) and songs (Dionne Farris), was delightful to all the passengers and was, at times, genuinely funny. Most importantly though, he found a way to make me feel really special. Granted his taxi industry references were lost on me and there was a lot of polite smiling, but I must admit that his was one of the most pleasant taxi rides I have had in a long time. And he didn’t even ask for my number afterwards. All he said was that I should remember that I am beautiful and carry myself as such. (I know, right?)

The thing is, when I got home and told a friend about this taxi man, she laughed at me (or him… I’m not quite sure) then immediately dismissed it as part of my fascination with people. Seemingly, there are lines that exist within the dating pool and these lines become more apparent as we grow older. In varisty, we could meet while waitressing and date for a while even, because we share a common space. But the minute one of us graduates and it becomes more apparent that, for example, one was paying their way through school and the other has career-waiter aspirations, things go horribly wrong.

These social, economic and cultural lines are drawn in the wind and adhered to silently, with very few lovers venturing beyond them, in fear of some kind of unnecessary complication. Rarely will a CEO of a multi-million rand organisation be found dating a security guard, especially if the CEO is the woman, because as my friend Jeri, so eloquently put it: “Such situations only work out in Tyler Perry movies.” In the real world, it would appear that more (financially) successful men are willing to overlook their partner’s profession, in favour of their character attributes than (financially) successful women, and even then, there are a few no-go’s.

So what happened to “I’m also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her”?

Everyone walks into a relationship with a set of negotiables and non-negotiables. Some are financial, others, social, cultural, emotional, intellectual or spiritual. In the wise words of Mam’G (my mom): “Uthando lubalelekile mntana’m, nencoko funeka idibane, kodwa indlala xa ingena ngomnyango, uthando luphuma nge festile.” In my quest to understand why my friend had laughed so hard (and why I knew in the back of my own head that I was more entertained than charmed), I did some research. I asked a few friends if they would date below their income bracket. More specifically, I asked if there were any jobs that were no-go areas.

It was interesting to note that there was a definite split in the responses I got. In general, many people felt that if that as far as income bracket went, they would date people who had the same socio-economic aspirations and led similar lifestyles. Provided these people had good hearts, were socially responsible and all that “beautiful pancreas” (inner beauty) jazz of course. Many of my artistic friends, felt that their cultural, emotional and spiritual characteristics were more important than the job they did, but later admitted that on initial contact (especially if there was a uniform involved), they would probably say no. My “professional” – and I use this word with caution – friends were a lot more straight forward. “No. Taxi drivers, petrol attendants, security guards and generally all unskilled workers are a no-go for me”, said a thirty year old financial services professional.

What was also interesting was that no one wanted to date someone whose end goal was, say, a petrol attendant. Potential could be negotiated, up to a particular age, but it was very apparent that most people would only consider certain jobs, if there was a compelling reason to why they were in that position. If the said job was a passage and not the final destination.

“Does the person have dreams and aspirations?  Because you can become a police commissioners or a proper bank manager through the internal structures. A security guard on the other hand I can’t consider, why aren’t they a cop, with health cover and life insurance? It depends, but if they don’t have dreams and ambition then no. But a definite no to a security guard” – Anonymous

As much as we all want to be good people and we all want to give good people a chance, the truth of the matter is that the work we do forms part of the people we become. And as charming as the taxi-man is, no one person is completely one thing because we are all quilted somehow. There are elements of him espoused by the work he does that render him initially undesirable, to me. I would prefer someone else made me feel special. This is a preference, not a prejudice. So no thank you. Taxi drivers, security guards, petrol attendants etc.

For interest sake: TOP 5 UNDESIRABLE JOBS FOR PARTNERS ACCORDING TO MY SURVEY

  1. Taxi Driver
  2. Security Guard
  3. Petrol Attendant
  4. Truck Driver
  5. Prison Warder

 

 

236 Comments
  1. I simply want to say I am very new to blogging and site-building and definitely enjoyed this website. Very likely I’m going to bookmark your website . You certainly come with very good well written articles. Many thanks for sharing with us your web site.

  2. I just want to tell you that I am newbie to blogging and truly loved this blog site. Probably I’m want to bookmark your blog . You actually come with fantastic writings. Thanks a bunch for sharing with us your blog site.

  3. I simply want to mention I am just new to blogs and truly enjoyed you’re blog. Likely I’m want to bookmark your blog . You actually have amazing well written articles. Cheers for sharing with us your blog.

  4. I just want to mention I am very new to weblog and really enjoyed you’re page. Very likely I’m likely to bookmark your website . You actually have fantastic well written articles. Regards for revealing your website.

  5. Great – I should definitely pronounce, impressed with your site. I had no trouble navigating through all tabs and related information ended up being truly simple to do to access. I recently found what I hoped for before you know it in the least. Quite unusual. Is likely to appreciate it for those who add forums or anything, web site theme . a tones way for your client to communicate. Excellent task.

  6. I just want to say I am just beginner to blogging and site-building and really enjoyed this page. Very likely I’m likely to bookmark your blog post . You surely come with tremendous articles. Thank you for sharing your web-site.

  7. I simply want to say I’m all new to blogging and really enjoyed this web-site. Probably I’m going to bookmark your blog . You certainly come with good well written articles. Appreciate it for sharing your blog site.

  8. Fantastic beat ! I would like to apprentice while you amend your website, how could i subscribe for a blog site? The account aided me a acceptable deal. I had been tiny bit acquainted of this your broadcast provided bright clear concept

  9. I just want to mention I am all new to weblog and honestly loved this web blog. Likely I’m planning to bookmark your blog post . You surely have awesome article content. Thanks a lot for revealing your web site.

  10. I simply want to mention I’m beginner to blogs and actually enjoyed this blog site. More than likely I’m want to bookmark your website . You definitely come with really good stories. Thank you for revealing your blog site.

  11. I simply want to tell you that I am just newbie to weblog and definitely liked your web blog. More than likely I’m planning to bookmark your blog post . You actually come with very good articles and reviews. Thanks a bunch for sharing with us your web-site.

  12. I simply want to tell you that I am newbie to blogging and certainly liked your blog site. Most likely I’m planning to bookmark your site . You actually come with really good article content. Thanks for sharing your website page.

  13. I simply want to tell you that I am just newbie to blogging and site-building and actually savored this blog site. Very likely I’m going to bookmark your blog post . You absolutely come with incredible article content. Bless you for sharing with us your website.

  14. Nice read, I just passed this onto a friend who was doing a little research on that. And he just bought me lunch as I found it for him smile Therefore let me rephrase that: Thank you for lunch!

  15. I just want to tell you that I am newbie to blogging and site-building and certainly liked this website. Probably I’m likely to bookmark your website . You really come with fantastic posts. With thanks for revealing your web site.

  16. I simply want to tell you that I’m very new to blogging and seriously savored this web site. Probably I’m want to bookmark your site . You amazingly have remarkable well written articles. Many thanks for revealing your website.

  17. I simply want to say I am just very new to blogs and definitely savored this blog site. More than likely I’m likely to bookmark your site . You definitely have really good article content. Cheers for revealing your blog site.

  18. I was just searching for this info for a while. After six hours of continuous Googleing, at last I got it in your site. I wonder what is the lack of Google strategy that don’t rank this kind of informative websites in top of the list. Generally the top websites are full of garbage.

  19. Very nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wished to say that I have truly enjoyed surfing around your blog posts. After all I will be subscribing to your rss feed and I hope you write again soon!

  20. Thank you a lot for sharing this with all folks you really recognize what you are talking about! Bookmarked. Kindly also seek advice from my website =). We will have a link exchange agreement between us!

  21. Excellent weblog right here! Also your website rather a lot up fast! What host are you the use of? Can I am getting your associate link on your host? I wish my site loaded up as quickly as yours lol

  22. I just want to mention I am new to blogging and certainly enjoyed you’re blog. More than likely I’m want to bookmark your site . You definitely have awesome articles and reviews. Appreciate it for sharing with us your blog site.

  23. My husband and i were really satisfied Michael managed to conclude his preliminary research while using the precious recommendations he made from your weblog. It is now and again perplexing just to always be giving freely information that many some other people might have been making money from. We acknowledge we have you to appreciate for that. All of the illustrations you made, the simple website menu, the relationships your site make it easier to promote – it is mostly remarkable, and it is facilitating our son and the family recognize that that article is brilliant, and that is particularly vital. Many thanks for all!

  24. I simply want to tell you that I am just beginner to blogs and actually enjoyed this web blog. Very likely I’m likely to bookmark your site . You certainly have awesome posts. Cheers for revealing your blog.

  25. I simply want to tell you that I am just new to blogging and site-building and seriously enjoyed your website. Most likely I’m going to bookmark your blog post . You actually come with wonderful article content. Regards for sharing your blog.

  26. Great blog right here! Also your site quite a bit up very fast! What web host are you using? Can I get your associate hyperlink to your host? I want my web site loaded up as fast as yours lol

  27. Unquestionably believe that which you said. Your favorite reason appeared to be on the internet the simplest thing to be aware of. I say to you, I certainly get irked while people think about worries that they just do not know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top and defined out the whole thing without having side-effects , people could take a signal. Will probably be back to get more. Thanks

  28. I loved as much as you will receive carried out right here. The sketch is tasteful, your authored material stylish. nonetheless, you command get bought an shakiness over that you wish be delivering the following. unwell unquestionably come further formerly again as exactly the same nearly a lot often inside case you shield this hike.

  29. Hello there, just became aware of your blog through Google, and found that it is truly informative. I’m going to watch out for brussels. I’ll appreciate if you continue this in future. Numerous people will be benefited from your writing. Cheers!

  30. It is the best time to make some plans for the future and it’s time to be happy. I’ve read this post and if I could I wish to suggest you few interesting things or suggestions. Maybe you can write next articles referring to this article. I want to read more things about it!

  31. I wanted to put you this tiny remark just to say thanks yet again for all the extraordinary tactics you have discussed at this time. It is so shockingly generous with you to present unhampered just what many people might have distributed for an electronic book in order to make some dough for their own end, especially given that you could possibly have tried it if you decided. The points in addition served as a fantastic way to fully grasp that most people have a similar desire really like mine to figure out a lot more with regards to this condition. I’m certain there are a lot more fun times up front for individuals who find out your blog post.

  32. Excellent post. I was checking continuously this blog and I’m impressed! Extremely useful information particularly the last part 🙂 I care for such info a lot. I was seeking this certain info for a very long time. Thank you and good luck.

  33. Thank you, I’ve just been looking for information approximately this subject for a while and yours is the best I have found out till now. However, what about the bottom line? Are you sure about the supply?

  34. Thanks a bunch for sharing this with all of us you actually realize what you are talking approximately! Bookmarked. Kindly also visit my site =). We could have a hyperlink exchange arrangement among us!

  35. angeles|California}! I’m {bored to tears|bored to death|bored} at work so I decided to {check out|browse} your {site|website|blog} on my iphone during lunch break. I {enjoy|really like|love} the {knowledge|info|information} you {present|provide} here and can’t wait to take a look when I get home.

  36. Great ¡V I should certainly pronounce, impressed with your site. I had no trouble navigating through all the tabs and related info ended up being truly simple to do to access. I recently found what I hoped for before you know it in the least. Reasonably unusual. Is likely to appreciate it for those who add forums or anything, web site theme . a tones way for your client to communicate. Nice task..

  37. Greetings, I believe your blog might be having browser compatibility problems. Whenever I look at your site in Safari, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it’s got some overlapping issues.

  38. owners|web owners} and bloggers made {just right|good|excellent} {content|content material} as {you did|you probably did}, the {internet|net|web} {will be|shall be|might be|will probably be|can be|will likely be} {much more|a lot more} {useful|helpful} than ever before.

  39. your|together with your|along with your} writing {talents|skills|abilities} {and also|as {smartly|well|neatly} as} with the {layout|format|structure} {for your|on your|in

  40. I’ve read this post and if I could I want to suggest you few interesting things or suggestions. Maybe you could write next articles referring to this article. I wish to read more things about it!|

  41. Hi, Neat post. There is a problem together with your site in web explorer, could check this¡K IE nonetheless is the marketplace chief and a good part of other folks will pass over your magnificent writing due to this problem.

  42. Thanks for sharing superb informations. Your site is so cool. I’m impressed by the details that you have on this web site. It reveals how nicely you perceive this subject. Bookmarked this website page, will come back for more articles. You, my pal, ROCK! I found simply the info I already searched all over the place and simply could not come across. What a great web site.

  43. less. I’ve been using WordPress on a variety of websites for about a year and am anxious about switching to another platform. I have heard great things about blogengine.net. Is there a way I can transfer all my wordpress posts into it? Any help would be greatly appreciated!|

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>